Confessions Of A Bride-To-Be: The Plan

I hope you enjoyed hearing about the proposal last month. It was so nice to write about it. I wish I had done it earlier as I’m sure there are little things I must have forgotten. It’s funny how much I can remember of the day though. Normally I have a terrible memory but I suppose it being a special day, it stood out to me.  Anyway! This series is called “Confessions of a Bride to Be,” so I’d best get on with some confessions.

Confession #1: The wedding isn’t a big deal to Craig and myself

Maybe that sounds completely crazy to some but we would be happy to go to a registry office and then go to the beach for fish and chips. So long as I get to take his surname and we get to spend the rest of our lives together, the rest isn’t a huge part to us. As you will see in this post, the wedding we have arranged is going to be very small (19 people – 7 of those children!), followed by a celebration with the whole family, and our friends, in a relaxed setting, the following day. I’m jumping the gun here though! Let’s get on with the post.

The Plan: What venue? What colour scheme? Who will the bridesmaids be? What theme will we have? This plan has changed so much over the years.  From when I was a young girl and, naturally, imagined I would be marrying a prince; to then being in my early teens and truly, truly believing that my heartthrob music idol (*ahem* Dougie Poynter from Mcfly *ahem*) would fall in love, as he performed on stage, whilst spotting me in my absurdly baggy jeans and skater top, through the crowds of teenage girls screaming his name, before inviting me backstage to begin our happily ever after.

In my university years, I started using Pinterest to gather ideas for my future wedding. This was the first time I seriously started to consider what I would like when it came to arranging my own wedding. My housemate and I both set up hidden Pinterest boards and would sit on my bed for hours whilst we added ideas to them. I remember being very protective over my board and being extremely worried she was going to pinch my ideas! Through Pinterest, I designed a rustic barn wedding, with lots of wild flowers, burlap and candles galore.

As I entered my mid-twenties, and I came to the realisation that my relationship with Craig was hopefully going to progress to marriage, I discovered that the idea of a first dance, with a crowd of people watching us; walking down the aisle, to a crowd of people watching me; and eating our dinner, in front of a crowd of people; scared the living daylights out of me. Fair enough, this “crowd” would be made up of our family, and closest friends, and they would, in no way, be judging, or looking down on us, but it still felt like the marriage would be too much of a performance. I would not be able to enjoy myself or to relax. I am a very anxious person and I know that I would be so worried about how everyone else was feeling and what they were thinking. Thankfully, after confessing all of this to Craig, he breathed a sigh of relief and said that the idea of a “conventional” wedding petrified him too. As a result, the plan changed, yet again.

The plan, as it stands right now (and hopefully until the day of the wedding!), is that we are going to have a very intimate wedding on a Friday, followed by a BBQ in the garden on the Saturday.

 

Up until a month ago, the ceremony was going to take place in a church. However, we recently attended a church service and, as beautiful as the service was, we both looked at each other as we walked out and instantly knew what the other was thinking – this isn’t us. I suppose the idea of a church feels very sterile and cold (quite literally!). Instead, we have been in contact with somebody who will help us write our vows and conduct the ceremony, and where we will exchange rings in our garden. I cannot wait to be married outside, surrounded by green grass, flowers, hopefully a blue sky, our family sipping prosecco and with our loopy dog running around, while we exchange our vows underneath an apple tree, or flower archway. Knowing that this is going to be how our wedding takes place, has made me so much more excited.

Because the wedding is taking place in our garden, and not a place authorised by the local authority or church, we will need to go to the registry office (probably on the morning of) to sign the paperwork. I think some people may feel that this spoils the ceremony a little bit, and that you are officially getting married in an office, but we are not going to exchange rings there and it is just the formalities taking place. It would be nice to do this as early in the day as possible so we can come back home and have a big breakfast, of orange juice and croissants, with my family and Craig before we wave him off, for him to probably watch some TV, and for me to start getting ready.

One thing that is very unlikely to change, is that we are only inviting our immediate family to the ceremony. Parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews. This means I won’t have any formally named bridesmaids. Instead, we are going to ask our two youngest nieces and our youngest nephew, to walk our black Labrador down the makeshift aisle before I come in.

After the ceremony, we are going to have photos as a couple and with our families (by the lovely Gemma, at Heels and Horseshoes). From here, we are not too sure on what we want to do! The original plan was that we would go the beach for fish and chips and have a play on the arcades. However, after going to Felixstowe arcades to see what it was like, we were put off this idea! I think we’ll probably just chill out in the garden, having some drink for an hour or so, before having an outfit change and heading to Milsoms, a local restaurant (and Craig and mine’s favourite), and get some dinner…followed by more cocktails!

On the following day, the celebration/party will be taking place, again, in ours and my parent’s gardens. We live on the same road as Mum and Dad and our gardens back on to each other. We would like this to be a very informal event where summer dresses, shorts, flip flops, and things you can totally relax in, will all be encouraged. We are going to channel a “village fete,” type setting with lots of games, mini golf (hopefully! I will try to share my creation of this with you all!), music and some fish and chips, with an ice cream bike! We have had the thought that we could do the ceremony on the Saturday too but I think we will need time to get the gardens ready and covered in fairy lights and bunting!! I would still like the tradition of my Dad doing a speech but I think that’s the only thing we will be keeping. I know the pressure of Craig having to do a speech would really spoil the day for him so I’ve let him off the hook! Maybe we’ll “cut the cake,” (we weren’t even going to have a cake but have been encouraged to!) but we’ll just go with the flow on the day.

That is the plan at the moment. Perhaps we will decide that we would like a church, as much of our family would like us to, or perhaps the date will be moved to be on the same day as the garden party. We are unsure right now! The save the dates are going out very soon but this will have the correct date, no matter what so we don’t need to rush in to any decisions just yet. Ahhh the joys of planning a wedding!

See you next month,

Emma