Confessions of a Bride-To-Be: The family think we’re “unique”!

Yet another month has zoomed by! I have a few more things checked off. I met with a lovely flower lady who understood exactly what I’d like and with a decent and quick quote - ace. We fiiiinally received our Save the Dates and they have been posted! Dropping them into the post box was so exciting. I am going to use an online shop to do the actual invites myself so I am in control of the timescale on those, which makes me feel much happier. I have been thinking a bit more about the dress and am tempted to order a few and just give them a whirl and a twirl to see how they spin! I have seen one I really like for £200 but it is out of stock – nooo! I am going to keep checking until it comes back in stock. Fingers crossed for me! The garden is coming along nicely and we have sheds arriving this month (exciting, I know!). We even have a flower bed! The house also has walls!! Another two assignments have been sent off and I have done lots of NVQ entries which means I am over 50% to completing it! I am getting so excited about everything this month, unlike last month when it all just felt a bit too much. I find each day, week, month is different. Some days it is sheer panic at the amount that we need to do and other days it is absolute excitement for all that is to come and the final result of all of our hard work. I think this emotional rollercoaster is a constant in everyone’s lives though, so that gives me comfort.

This month, I thought I’d write about how our friends and family feel about our wedding.

Confession 9 – The family think we’re “unique”!

My Mum has always said that I have never fit in as the “norm” and have always gone against the grain, as has my brother. I think we both like to be different though and refuse to be swept along in whatever everyone else is doing. We are both quite very stubborn (!!) and this is probably why we have often been a little alternative. I am quite diverse. For example, I have no music preferences – listen to my iTunes and it will bounce from Pop to Classical to Country to Blues to Rock and Roll to that emo phase of the 00’s. You can detect it in Mum’s face now when I say something like “No, I don’t think we really want a “cutting the cake” moment,”  the hint of a smirk and a little eye roll and can almost hear the words “Typical Emma!” as she giggles them in her head. I know she loves me for that and I think more recently she understands how I feel about myself and the situation so she can see what an issue it (having a big show, being centre of attention etc.,) is for me. We went to a house party last month and, as we are currently living with mum and dad whilst the house is being built, she could see the irritability and nervousness come over me from probably two weeks before hand. This was a simple house party of one of Craig’s friends. Nothing serious, absolutely casual and with lovely people, yet, still, I was tearful and nervous about going. The night before I had a real melt down and told Craig I wasn’t going to go. He, thankfully, told me that, yes, I was going to go and he was going to be there with me and that’s what I needed. She gets it and for that I am very grateful! I think she knows it’s right for me and Craig.

Dad is a slightly different story! He is absolutely supportive of what we’ve decided but I don’t think it’s really what he wanted for his only girl. He always said he wanted to walk me down the aisle of a church, to show me off to our family and friends. He also really hates Felixstowe (which is where we’re getting married!). I think he doesn’t like the idea of getting married in a town hall either but, hopefully, on the day, he’ll realise that it is a really lovely setting, looking out at the sea and be completely happy with our decision. I still think if I said we’ve changed our minds and have hired a venue and a church then he would be over the moon! He doesn’t get it just yet, but I know he is going to be so happy for us no matter where it takes place. I know one concern that he has voiced to us is that the garden party will end up falling on my mum and dad’s shoulders a lot and, I know mum especially, will worry about getting drinks etc., for people and being a good hostess. I’m going to ask a few special people to make sure the guests are helping themselves to drinks and to help bring out food etc. I know they won’t mind and hopefully it will just mean that Mum and Dad can enjoy it all a bit more. I think that is the one reservation my parents have at the moment. Just that it’s going to be in their garden and they will feel the responsibility of ensuring everyone has a good time.

 
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When I told my friends our intentions of how we were going to get married, and with just our immediate family being there, most of them said, “That sounds perfect for you.” However, one of my closest friends said, “That sounds really lovely but I would really like to see you get married and it makes me sad that I won’t be able to.” It suddenly hit me that, actually, when she gets married, I really want to be there to see her and her boyfriend’s happiness and love. I would be so, so happy for her and want to witness that (and I will as she has asked me to be her bridesmaid – eeek but whoop!!). It altered my thinking and actually I know they are going to be so happy for me too and that yes, I do want my two closest friends there. They still won’t be bridesmaids or anything like that but they will be there to celebrate and give me a hug afterwards. Craig is also inviting three of his closest friends.

My other closest friend, who is a bargain hunter, when I told her I wasn’t going to have a hen do or bridesmaids or a big event, was absolutely overjoyed! She knew that she would have been a bridesmaid at the wedding and she already had four weddings to go to that year. The joy was due to her not having to spend money on a hen do or a posh dress! Again, I know she is absolutely so happy for me and Craig and can’t wait to see us get married. She doesn’t want to get married at all. She’s always known that. She doesn’t want to get married nor have children. When we met at high school, she always knew it was something she didn’t want to do. Her boyfriend totally understands that and I think that’s awesome. I love that she is so excited about our wedding though as she knows how excited I am about marrying Craig. Ooo I love her!

I think Craig’s parents are on board. Again, I think Craig has always sang to his own song sheet, shall we say, and they are used to him doing things the way he wants to and not really worrying about the consequences. When we tell them ideas for the wedding, it’s just like with my mum; you can see the smirk and the “Typical Craig!” run through their heads and they will laugh about it with us. Craig’s parents love a special occasion and love extravagant finishing touches – I have been sent ideas about doves, alpacas, moving wedding cakes and wedding themed bouncy castles! As incredible as those things sound (I would definitely have the bouncy castle and alpacas, if there was space!), I’ve always wanted the simple things. When Craig has wanted to buy me a necklace or earrings, before he goes shopping he’ll ask what kind of thing I’d like and I’ll always say, “Ooo, just a plain one please, thank you!”

People at work/ hairdresser/ other general people always say “Yes!! Just do you! Do what you want, it’s your day! That’s the in thing now!” “Oh it will be lovely! I so wish I’d done mine like that!” How come none of these people are in my family?!

At the end of the day, no matter what anyone else has thought, and whether they have voiced that opinion or not, they have all been totally supportive of our decision and that is such a relief. I want them to enjoy our day too and I am so excited!!

Emma x