Confessions of a bride-to-be: I am so confused!!

Thank you for all of your lovely messages about Craig’s post this past month. He is a good one – I got very lucky! However, he has become quite smug after all the sweet things people said about him. Writing these has made me realise how not alone I am. I get at least five messages from people after each post to say that that’s exactly how they feel and that they also thought they were the only person feeling like that! It’s been so nice to reconnect with old friends and to also make some new ones so thank you all.

This month I thought I’d tell you about the dress fitting I had made at Grace Loves Lace. I had asked my Mum, my brother’s girlfriend and my friend in London, to come with me. I thought it would be nice for us to all go out for lunch beforehand and then go to the fitting afterwards.

But, I can’t tell you about that because I cancelled it…! There were a few reasons. One, Craig and mine’s Christmas present to each other was a holiday and we left early the day after the fitting. Two, the prices of them felt too much and I couldn’t let my parents spend that much on a dress that I’m not even going to wear for a big ceremony or even a full day (probably only a couple of hours!). Three, I was starting to feel a bit anxious about it as I’m not feeling too happy in my own skin at the moment, even though I was going with some of the ladies I trust and love most in the world. Finally, you have to buy the dress on the day and I just felt it was too early. In the end, it’s lucky I did cancel it as all the trains that day were cancelled due to high winds messing with the overhead wires and trees that had fallen on the tracks. It’s a good thing I don’t believe in signs from the universe! Ring broken, can’t get to dress fitting, having to move the date backwards, and, yes, last month, I finally built up the courage to chuck the old save the dates away. Sad times. Although, speaking about moving the date, it was so lucky we did as building work still hasn’t started and isn’t starting until the second week of March now, or that’s when they’re delivering all the materials, I don’t know when holes will start to be dug, but it won’t be finished until September time, earliest, so the wedding would have been on a building site…not ideal – we made the right choice.

 
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Going back to dresses, when we went on our Christmas holiday to each other, during January, I spotted an Anthropologie that stocked their BHLDN wedding dresses (which I’d seen online and loved), so we went and had a look. They were so beautiful! It was so nice having Craig with me. He picked out ones that I wouldn’t have thought twice about. Two he picked out caught my eye especially so I tried them on. Unfortunately, I didn’t like how the fitted but it was so nice to see what Craig thought I would look good in. It will probably effect what I end up choosing for the wedding day.

Anyway, let’s get going:

Confession #7: I am so confused!!

I don’t know if this is normal or if I am just indecisive and can’t stick to anything or make any decisions! At the moment (and the whole way through planning so far), my mind is constantly changing about everything. We know we want a small wedding day but how we go around that has been changing a lot. A wedding in the garden would be sweet but I’m now starting to worry about what happens if the neighbours decide to mow their lawn half way through, or if their dogs start barking. What if it rains?! We more recently thought about using our trip just gone to elope! We thought we could just go and do it and just get it over and done with (romantic!) but then we wouldn’t have to worry about it all anymore. As tempting as it was, it didn’t feel right to do it without our parents being there. My new thought is getting married at Felixstowe town hall, which is directly on the seafront – the beach is one side of the narrow road, and the town hall is on the other. We could get married and walk down to the beach for photos, then walk along to the arcades to play some games, have ice creams and a portion of chips! Austin could be involved – although the other day I realised at that time of year he won’t be allowed on the beach – arrgh!! Craig is worried about rain but at one of my friend’s weddings it rained (facebook stalker!) and the photos are so much fun and so lovely. They have sort of made me feel ok about it raining – as long as we’re not having the ceremony in it! My Dad hates the idea as he doesn’t really like Felixstowe but this is the view you get as you step out of the town hall, maybe I could persuade him!

 
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I am also so stressed out about when to book things! We’re now 18 months away. Should I start now? I know last time I started booking things this far in advance, all the companies thought I was booking for 6 months away instead of 18! The amount of invoices I got with the wrong wedding date on was ridiculous! I don’t really want to wait because I don’t want things to get booked up!

I have made a list of jobs that I need to do and have spread it across the 18 months so it doesn’t feel so overwhelming and I can check things off as I go:

February: Contact registry office. Ask about dogs. Speak to the Fludyers or Milsoms about a meal that evening.
March: Find caterers
April: Send Save the Dates
May: Contact flower lady with date
June: Find marquee people
July: Find a personal trainer – one year to go
August: Find someone to bake a cake. Look at wedding dresses.
September: Plan honeymoon
October: Pre-wedding photoshoot? Speak to Gemma.
November: Make wedding and celebration playlist
December: Send invites
January: Find a dress if still not found one and find wedding rings
February: Craig get suit ready
March: Make and buy decorations for the garden
April: Dresses for Paige, Evee, Kezia and little outfit for Blake
May: Make outdoor games. Try on dress.
June: Alcohol shopping. Try on dress!
July: Pot flowers. Get nails, tan, eyebrows, eyelashes, hair done! Food shopping.

Is there anything I’ve missed?! Please let me know if there is! Doing it like this makes me feel like I’ll be able to juggle it with building a house, decorating an entire house, whilst planning a wedding and doing an NVQ and a diploma! I think….!!!

Next month, when I sit down to write my blog, I should have contacted the registry office and have a place to eat and maybe spend the night, and will have a date set, so I’m ready for all these other things to happen! Woohooo!!

Sorry, if this seems all over the place – it’s a bit how my head feels at the moment! Speak next month,

Emma