How is it already November 1st?! I hope you are all enjoying your pumpkin spiced lattes, roll neck jumpers and hot water bottles. I love this time of year so much. My favourite night of the year – bonfire night- is so close!!
The lead up to Christmas is so exciting and the perfect temperature for snuggles under a blanket on the sofa, or wrapping up warm and going to get fish and chips by the beach in the darkening evenings. I have eyed up the most perfect roll neck jumper from M&S. I tried it on last week and it was so snug but felt like it was just a tad too Grandma like! I regret not buying it though – definitely going back. I have also had a little snoop at the winter wear in Topshop and treated myself to this skirt. We’re going to Edinburgh later this month – how perfect will it be with my camel mac, chunky heeled boots and a long sleeve black top tucked in – cannot wait. Anyway, this is not what I am supposed to be writing about but I got carried away again.
This month I have made one step forward with the wedding…kind of…but before I get into that, I need to share something in case you bump into me on the street and notice something strange…
The ring broke.
I am trying to not take this as a bad omen but when you have just told your family and friends that you’ve cancelled the wedding and then show up without your engagement ring on, lips start moving! Even worse – the lady in the jewellery shop is trying to blame it on me that it broke. I admit I am a bit of a bull in a china shop, extremely accident prone, break everything I touch, and have always wished to be more graceful, but I did not break the ring! It is currently getting fixed and I really hope I have it back soon – I miss its sparkliness so much!
Let’s get back to the matter at hand now…
True life. The brides in all the magazines and on all the websites just look so stunning and gorgeous. All the brides that flash up on my Facebook and all the weddings I’ve been to – the brides have been beautiful. I know I am going to put a dress on and just look normal. Normal is fine for any other day – I rarely put make up on or do my hair and so quite frequently look sub-normal – but I just want, on this one day, to feel confident and proud. Craig and I have taken our first step towards this, we’ve joined the gym.
We have been going steadily, 3-4 times a week, for about a month now. Have I lost weight? No. Have I gained weight? Yes. Joining the gym and doing exercise means you can eat more cupcakes and not put weight on, right? Wrong. Seems I’ve not being doing this whole gym thing right…ooops. However, despite gaining weight from going to the gym (I keep telling myself it’s all the muscle I’m gaining…), I feel a lot more confident in myself. Those mornings I go before work, I stand a little taller and feel genuinely happier. So even though I may not yet be on my way to look like a VS model, I am on my way to rocking my dress and feeling confident in my own skin, which I know is so much more important. Talking of the dress…you may remember I said I loved the Grace Loves Lace dresses but they were an extortionate price and I couldn’t justify getting one sent from Australia on a gamble of liking it and getting the right size? Well…they’ve opened a shop in London and I have booked in for a fitting. I am half hoping I hate all the dresses and don’t get one because of the price but am also reaaaally hoping I put one on and love it. The fitting is in mid-January so I’ll write more about that once I’ve had it.
From next week (isn’t is always from next week?!) we are going to clean up our eating. I am writing this on here so I have to stick to it. The lovely people in our lives keep baking us cakes which are oh so yummy, and I don’t want them to stop, but also oh so naughty for my waistline and ever growing bottom. I tracked macros and calories for a few months the last time I tried to lose weight and it was really successful. I meal prepped and ate the same thing every day for a week. I lost over a stone and felt comfortable in my clothes but I noticed I started to look at calories on everything, plus eating the same thing every day wasn’t satisfying for me. I remember buying some edamame beans and thinking I’d have those as a healthy snack. Once I’d eaten half the tub, I looked at the nutritional information and burst into tears because they had, in my eyes, a lot of fat in them. My mum was with me and I don’t think she knew what to do…I made her eat the rest of the tub. They were beans for goodness sake!! I don’t want to get bogged down with entering everything into My Fitness Pal again. I just want to make good choices. I follow a YouTuber called Sarah’s Day and I love her way of approaching health and fitness. She is all about listening to your body and having fun – perhaps not slaving at the gym every day of the week but mixing things up – going for a long walk with your friends, trying a new exercise class, going to the beach and doing your workout there, riding your bike to the shops instead of getting in the car. We’ve been trying to do this. We’ve been going swimming together at the weekend, followed by the steam room and the Jacuzzi. We try to play a racquet sport on Friday evenings. I’m going to start going running with mum two days a week – maybe in the morning around the fields near to our homes, or in the evenings along the promenade at the beach (running straight past the fish and chip shops without stopping will be a challenge!).
We are going to do the best we can from Monday to Friday and then enjoy our weekends, making healthy choices where possible but not getting bogged down with it. We often take our dog to the beach either on a Saturday or Sunday morning and often have our breakfast out. That’s something we both look forward to and definitely not something we’re going to stop for the sake of losing weight.
I think I am going to leave this post here and maybe I’ll write about how we are getting on in 6 months time. I want to be able to look back on photographs from the day and see a confident, happy person – someone who is happy in her own skin, no matter the size. If I look like a Victoria’s Secret model then either a miracle took place or I managed to persuade Gemma to photo shop my head onto someone else’s body. I know it isn’t realistic to have “look like a Victoria’s Secret model,” as a goal – I am just being daft. However, I do want to have their exuberating confidence and carefree attitude. Hopefully going to the gym and getting those endorphins pumping; taking care of my body, whilst still having as much cake as possible; and having Craig join me on the journey, will help me on my way.
See you next month!